Commissioned by the Salt Lake Chinese Choir, Yu-Feng Huang, Artistic Director.

 

Premiere performance 3 June, 2023 at Libby Gardner Concert Hall.

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"The Journal" has been transformative for me as a composer. When Yu-Feng shared the concept of this concert and the poem by 張景雯, the text broke my heart with its sense of alienation, longing, loneliness, and hope. I felt in it a weight and a depth I had never before experienced as a composer. Feeling inadequate, inarticulate, and inexperienced, when I completed the first draft I realized the music was bleak and hopeless, and it had become about my insecurities which overshadowed the essence of the poetry. I threw out the music, leaving only a solitary D# echoing from the discarded pages.

 

As I began delving into stories of Chinese immigrants in Utah, I explored their remarkable resilience in forming strong communities, their struggles against discrimination, and their invaluable contributions to building the railroad, often at great personal cost. The statistics and narratives surrounding the railroad workers left me emotionally overwhelmed, and that persistent D# note echoed in my mind as I read. It transformed into the sound of a rail spike being driven into the ground, a poignant reminder of the toil and sacrifice of these immigrants.

 

In essence, I aimed to narrate the profound story within this remarkable poetry: the uncertainty, trepidation, despair, and feelings of inadequacy, fear, and hope of Chinese immigrants. Above all, I sought to delve into what I related to the most, the concept of "home"—its meaning, its varied locations, and how it can transcend physical places. Home isn't always where, who, or what we expect, and the music concludes with this thoughtful reflection, ending on that same D# . It serves as a poignant remembrance, a tribute, and a recontextualization of the journey undertaken.

 

- Clifford W. King

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為了尋找一片陽光， 

航向遠方的汽笛聲響。

風在旅程裡落去鹹味，

將往日夾進未書寫的扉頁。

 

We’d gone in search of sunshine.

On an outbound ship, we listened to the steam whistle.

The wind shed its saltiness as we journeyed;

Yesterdays were folded into the unwritten flyleaves.

 

反覆閱讀行囊裡的地圖，

直到應許之地的墨跡模糊，

卻讀不出未標記的險阻。

Again and again we pored over the map from our bag,

Until the ink outlining the promised land blurred—

Still the unmarked obstacles ahead eluded us.

 

為了尋找一片陽光，

開往遠方的列車啟航。

風在路途中抹去聲息，

把熟悉藏進風乾後的字跡。

We’d gone in search of sunshine.

We got on a departing train, bound for somewhere faraway.

The wind grew silent as we journeyed;

In the wind-dried handwriting we hid a sense of familiarity.

 

不停練習擁抱各種表情，

直到語句背後的千絲萬縷，

不過只需淺淺一笑回應。

Over and over we practiced embracing various expressions,

Until the entanglement behind the words

Took nothing more than a faint smile to respond to.

 

是越寫越短的句子，

是越走越遠的日子。

讓筆下的夢想結實，

釀經過的歲月厚實。

Sentences grow ever shorter,

The days, farther and lengthier.

May the dreams we’ve put down bear fruit;

May the years we’ve fermented gain depth.

 

為了尋找一片陽光，

開往遠方的列車啟航。

風擁抱著下個起點，

吹起新的希望。

We’d gone in search of sunshine.

We got on a departing train, bound for somewhere faraway.

The wind embraced the next point of departure,

And a new hope arose.

 

為了尋找一片陽光，

我們走過的路程好長，

卻不曾遺忘，

日記第一頁早就寫下，

是為了回家，

我們才離家到這麼遠的地方。

We’d gone in search of sunshine;

A long, long way we’ve journeyed.

But we’ve never forgotten

Written long ago on the journal’s very first page—

Homecoming.

The reason why we’re far away from home.

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Language: Chinese

Lyrics: Ching-Wen Chang 張景雯

Duration: 6'

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